


Year of Shadows

by Settiai



Series: The Hands of a Healer [3]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 01:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15697638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Settiai/pseuds/Settiai
Summary: The Hawke family's first year in Kirkwall is a difficult one.





	Year of Shadows

They'd been in Kirkwall for three days, and Gideon Hawke already hated it.

Of course, he had to admit that he was probably at least a bit biased. Still, he'd already been well on his way to hating the city even _before_ Gamlen had shown up to dash any and all dreams that they might have had. That was just the icing on the already shitty cake.

Gideon sighed and glanced to his left, where Bethany and Carver were standing. Neither of them looked any happier than he felt, not that he'd expected anything better thanks to Gamlen's oh-so-cheery news that he wanted to all but sell the three of them into servitude for the next year. It was slavery in everything but name, and all of them knew it.

Not that they had much of a choice in the matter.

"What do you two think?" Gideon asked quietly.

Carver snorted. His face was still too pale, a lingering aftereffect of the seasickness he'd suffered during the voyage from Ferelden to Kirkwall, but other than that he seemed to be back to his usual self. For better or for worse.

"I think anything's better than us sitting here another night," Carver muttered under his breath. "But you already knew that much."

Bethany sighed, but Gideon couldn't help but notice that she didn't actually argue. As different as his siblings could be when they wanted, there was no denying that they were twins. Of course, that didn't make him feel any better about them not actually answering his question.

Gideon rolled his eyes. "Athenril or Meeran," he clarified. "Come on, we've talked to both of them. I know the two of you have some sort of opinion."

Neither of them said anything, although Carver scoffed under his breath at the question.

Gideon reached up to rub the bridge of his nose. "Fine," he said. "Be that way." He glanced behind him. "Aveline, want to chime in?"

Aveline shot him a thoroughly unamused look. She'd been following the three of them around ever since they'd left Gamlen and Mother, but she'd made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with whatever decision they actually reached. She was there as back-up, nothing more and nothing less, and it was obvious that she meant to stay that way.

And who knew? Maybe it would be useful down the line, knowing someone who'd managed to keep their hands clean.

"Or not," Gideon backtracked quickly, holding up his hands. The expression on Aveline's face didn't change, but he thought that he saw a flicker of amusement in her eyes for just a second.

Shaking his head, Gideon shot his siblings a pointed look. He could make the decision himself if he had to do it, but he knew damn well all that would do was get him blamed for any regrets that they had later on. It would be better in the long run if it was something they all agreed was the best choice.

After another few seconds of silence, Carver finally made a noise that might have been agreement. Or disgruntlement. Or indigestion. Gideon had all but given up on getting a solid read from him ever since Ostagar. The man who'd come back from that disaster barely resembled the boy who'd left for it.

Not that he could really blame him, considering just how bad Ostagar had been. It still stung a little, though, watching his little brother pull farther and farther away from him while Gideon couldn't do anything but watch it happen. They hadn't been particularly close in years, not since they'd realized that Bethany wasn't the only one of them to take after Father, but it had never been _this_ bad. If it hadn't been for Bethany, Gideon wondered if Carver would even talk to him.

Gideon hadn't realized it was possible to miss someone when they were standing right next to you.

"I think we should go with Meeran," Carver said with a half-hearted shrug. "He seems solid enough, and mercenary work is pretty straightforward."

Gideon nodded slowly, running Carver's words over in his head. "Works for me," he agreed, turning his gaze from Carver to Bethany. "What about you, Beth?"

Bethany hesitated, just for a second. It was barely anything, just a flicker, but it was enough to let Gideon know that something was up.

Carver narrowed his eyes. "What?" he asked. "You'd rather work for a smuggler? Really?"

Her eyes flashed. "If you want my opinion, then yes," Bethany shot back, with more heat in her voice than Gideon had expected.

Carver must have heard it too, because he immediately frowned and glanced in Gideon's direction.

Frowning himself, Gideon looked at Bethany more closely than he had before. Her hands were clenched into fists at her side, a nervous habit he'd seen a thousand times or more. There was tension around her eyes as well, as if she was trying to keep her face from showing how she really felt.

"Talk to us, Bethany," he said slowly. "Why Athenril instead of Meeran?"

Bethany bit her lip and looked away, not quite meeting either of her brothers' gazes. Then she sighed. "I didn't like the way Meeran looked at me," she said quietly. "As if I was nothing more than a—" She trailed off. "I just didn't like the way he looked at me. I don't trust him, not for a year."

Gideon looked at Carver. Carver looked at Gideon.

To the side, Aveline shifted slightly, her hand coming down to rest on the hilt of her sword. And then she squeezed it. Tightly.

It was probably a good thing that Meeran was nowhere nearby. Relatively speaking, at least. The last thing they needed was to make an enemy before they even made it through the gates of Kirkwall.

Gideon swallowed. "The smugglers it is then," he said as firmly as he could, clapping his hands together. "Let's go give them the good news."

*

Gideon had only one thought when he saw the hovel that was going to be their new home for the foreseeable future: camping out in the refugee camp in the Gallows suddenly didn't seem nearly as bad in comparison. Some of their homes back in Ferelden had been small, but they'd at least been clean. Gamlem's home wasn't just small, it was _tiny_ , and it was absolutely filthy.

"Well, this is cozy," he muttered under his breath, more out of habit than anything else.

Gamlen shot him a dirty look, one that was mirrored almost exactly on Mother's face. If nothing else, Gideon suddenly saw the family resemblance. 

Bethany elbowed him rather pointedly in the side, although the look on her face made it seem like she probably agreed with him. Carver, on the other hand, snorted.

Gideon's gaze flickered in Carver's direction, but he didn't say anything. He couldn't remember the last time Carver had even remotely found one of his comments amusing. Well before Ostagar, that much was certain. Probably before there'd been even a rumor of the Blight. Too long, that was for sure. Much too long.

It was well worth a few dirty looks and an elbow to the side to see even a hint of amusement on Carver's face. Gideon considered it a price worth paying.

"We'll make do," Mother said, clapping her hands together determinedly. "It might not be much, but it's home." She took a deep breath, and for just a second Gideon thought that he could see the disappointment in her eyes that she was trying her best to hide from them. "A little cleaning will go a long way."

Gamlen muttered something under his breath, his eyes darkening for a second as he looked away from his sister. Gideon couldn't quite make it out from where he was standing but, judging by the dark look that Carver shot their uncle's way, he suspected he knew the gist of it.

Gideon held his tongue for once, although it took some effort on his part. Instead, he let his gaze move over the room again. There were two doors leading out of it, presumably to bedrooms. Or, if they weren't bedrooms now, they would be soon. The room itself was disgusting. There was a surprisingly thick layer of dirt on the floor, and he didn't want to particularly think too hard about some of the stains he could see here and there.

If it weren't for the handful of belongings scattered about, not to mention the empty bottles that clearly contained alcohol of some type in the past, he would have sworn no one lived there. As it was, well... for the time being, at least, it was going to be home. He might as well learn to live with it, whether he liked it or not.

"I should probably try to put something together for dinner," Mother said. She looked over at Gamlen. "Where do you store your food, Gamlen?"

Gamlen snorted.

She went very still, her eyes narrowing slightly. Gideon took a quick step backwards, not surprised to see Bethany and Carver doing the same thing. They all recognized that particular look on her face, and none of them wanted to be anywhere near her when her temper finally boiled over.

"Gamlen," Mother repeated, her eyes focused on him, "where do you store your food?"

He stared at her for a moment, meeting her gaze head on. Then he dropped it to the floor. "I'm going to go get a drink," he muttered. "Make yourself at home."

Any of them could have stopped him as he turned and shoved past them, heading back through the still open door behind them. None of them did. Personally, Gideon couldn't help but think it would improve the mood for him to not be there for a while, all things considered.

The four of them stood there in awkward silence for a long moment. Then Mother sniffed, just once, before sinking to the floor as she burst into sobs.

Bethany had already managed to wrap herself around her in a tight hug before Gideon or Carver had a chance to even blink.

"It's going to be fine," she whispered. "Don't cry, Mother. Everything's going to be fine."

She glanced over at Gideon and Carver, shooting them a pleading look. Gideon shifted awkwardly in place.

Carver let out a huff. "You're hopeless," he muttered. It was probably his imagination, but Gideon couldn't help but think that he heard at least a tiny bit of fondness in the rebuke.

Gideon elbowed him. "Look who's talking."

Bethany's pleading look turned into a glare.

Gideon exchanged a look with Carver, who shrugged back at him. Then the two of them joined Bethany, kneeling down beside Mother on the floor and wrapping their arms awkwardly around them both.

"We're all alive," Gideon said, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible. "And we're together. That's the important thing."

He pointedly didn't look towards Bethany, the image of her still body sprawled on the ground still something that haunted his dreams at night. It had been close. Too close. If he'd hesitated before throwing himself at her, if he hadn't poured in every ounce of healing magic he had and then some, if he had—

Carver's hand shifted, resting on his arm for just a moment and squeezing. He didn't say anything. He didn't even look at Gideon. But it was enough to stop his spiraling thoughts in their tracks.

"We'll get through this," Bethany said firmly, her hands running through Mother's hair as her sobs slowly lessened. "Together."

*

Their first real job for Athenril, after they'd bribed their way into the city and were officially part of her crew... well, it could have gone better. It could have gone a lot worse, of course, but that didn't change the fact that everything had gone straight to shit less than two minutes into it.

There was a part of Gideon that couldn't help but think that it was a test, something Athenril had cooked up to prove their loyalty. At least until the templars had shown up. Mercenaries were one thing, but even _she_ couldn't have pulled those kinds of strings, not for a test. It was apparently just horrible luck on their parts.

"You two, go that way!"

Gideon ignored Carver's spluttered protests as he shoved him in Bethany's direction. Splitting up was the only option, and they all knew it.

He kept running in the direction he'd been heading, not even glancing back. He trusted the twins to do the smart thing, if only because both of them would be focused on protecting the other. All of them knew that he was the more obvious target, so hopefully whatever mercenaries or templars or whoever else was still around would go after him instead of his siblings.

Maker. Their very first job, and it involved smuggling lyrium. This was going to be a long year.

Something heavy hit Gideon from behind.

Gideon staggered at the impact, not hitting the ground but only just barely. He spun around, his hands wrapping tightly around the hilts of the daggers he'd been holding ever since the first hint of the plan going awry.

One of the mercenaries was standing just behind him, a large sword in hand. The man had clearly just jumped down from some of the crates piled around them, probably hoping to send Gideon sprawling.

"Well, well, well," the man said, his mouth opening in a mocking grin that was missing more teeth than it had. "What do we have here?"

Gideon didn't hesitate. He jerked his right arm forward and tried to stab him.

The mercenary easily stepped aside, the dagger's blade missing him by a significant amount. Gideon immediately stabbed at him again, his fingers wrapped so tightly around the dagger that it was almost painful. This time, the mercenary batted his arm away with the flat side of his sword and kicked out, knocking Gideon's feet out from under him and sending him straight to the ground with a thud.

"Not much of a rogue, are you?" the man asked, grinning even broader as he leaned down over Gideon and brought up his sword.

He was still grinning when Gideon brought up his left hand and shoved his other dagger deep in the man's chest.

The man's face went slack, his grip on his own weapon going lax as his body slumped downwards on top of Gideon. Gideon shoved the corpse off of him, breathing heavily and more than a little surprised that he was still uninjured.

With a groan, he pushed himself to his feet.

"I guess that I'm enough of a rogue after all," Gideon said to the world at large, poking at the man's body with his foot to make certain that he was dead. The man didn't move.

Gideon closed his eyes for a moment and breathed in, trying to ignore the coppery smell of blood that filled the air. He'd killed animals before, not to mention darkspawn. And this was far from being the first person he'd seen die. He just hadn't been the one doing the killing before. Well, other than Wesley. And that didn't count, not considering his state there at the end.

He hadn't expected it to be so easy.

After another moment or two, he looked around to make certain that he didn't see any sign of anyone watching him. Then he took off running again, a little slower this time so that he could pay better attention to his surroundings. The last thing he wanted was another ambush.

Gideon wasn't certain he could handle having to kill someone else. Not tonight.

Time blurred together as he ran, dodging his way through alleys and trying his best to stay out of sight. He was still getting to know the city, but he at least had a general idea of the right direction to head in. He just hoped his siblings would be waiting at the rendezvous spot they'd agreed on if things had gone wrong.

"Where have you been?"

Gideon came to a sudden halt at the familiar voice coming from nearby, and he spun around. He hadn't even realized that his hands were still gripped tightly around his daggers. He lowered them as both Bethany and Carver stepped out of the shadows, the annoyed look on Carver's face fading to something else entirely as he turned towards them.

Bethany's eyes went wide. "Are you hurt?" she asked, rushing forward to run her hands up and down Gideon's chest.

He blinked in surprise, and it took him longer than it should have to realize that his clothing was all but drenched with blood. "Oh," he said, not trying to hide how startled he was, "I forgot about that. No, I'm fine. It's not mine."

Something flashed in her eyes that Gideon couldn't quite interpret, there and gone before he had a chance to really process it. "We should get you cleaned up before we head back to Athenril," she said, her voice quieter than it had been a moment before. "You're going to draw too much attention looking like that."

"Sounds good," Gideon said with a nod. His voice sounded oddly distant.

There was a tug at his left hand, and he glanced down to see Carver gently pulling the still bloody dagger from his grip. Gideon blinked before relinquishing his hold on it.

Carver didn't say anything, but there was a knowing look in his eyes as he reached out and squeezed Gideon's shoulder.

*

"Kirkwall is a cesspool. No, calling Kirkwall a cesspool gave cesspools a bad name. It's a cesspit. A horrible, stinking—"

"We get the picture, Brother. So shut it."

Gideon blinked once or twice. "Oh, was I talking out loud again?" he asked, trying his best to come across as innocent. He doubted it worked, but it was worth a shot.

Bethany reached up and covered her mouth, but it didn't quite hide the fact that she was smiling. Carver just scowled at him.

Grinning despite himself, Gideon leaned back against the wall of Gamlen's house. It probably smelled better inside, but they had quickly learned that the small hovel wasn't nearly large enough for five people and a mabari. Not for anything more than eating and sleeping, at least, and even then the odds were high that a meal would end in a screaming match before it was all said and done.

As for sleeping... well, Gideon and Carver had quickly learned that sharing a bedroom with Gamlen was less than an ideal situation for all involved. Even though he loathed to admit it, sometimes Gideon _hoped_ that their uncle would go out and spend all his money at the Rose; at least that way they were more likely to have a quiet night.

So instead they were sitting outside on the stairs leading up to it, watching people go by and generally trying to avoid thinking about just how shitty their lives were. "Our lives suck, don't they?"

"You're still talking out loud."

Even though he was obviously doing his best to hide it, Gideon could hear a hint of amusement in Carver's voice. When he glanced over, there was a noticeable upward curve to Carver's lips.

"It's your imagination, little brother," Gideon said lightly.

Carver let out a snort.

"It's getting late," Bethany said quietly, cutting both of them off.

Any amusement that might have been on Carver's face disappeared, and Gideon felt his own fade away as well. Working for Athenril might have gotten them into the city, but they'd all quickly learned that the jobs she had for them weren't always pretty.

Still, it was better than working for that mercenary, Meeran. They'd heard stories about him in the months they'd been in Kirkwall, few of them good, and none of them were particularly upset with their decision not to take him up on his offer to get them into city.

Besides, there wasn't anything they could do about any of it, so there wasn't any point in thinking about what could have been. They were almost six months into their yearlong contract with the smuggler. Six more months. All they had to do was last six more months.

And then Gideon had to figure out what they were going to do to survive on their own.

"Come on," Gideon said, pushing himself to his feet. "Mother knows we have a job tonight. She could probably use some help with the food, if we're going to eat before we head out."

Bethany gave him a tired smile as he reached down to offer his hand. She pulled herself to her feet, stretching a little as she did so.

Carver was already on his feet before Gideon could do the same for him, an expression on his face that bordered on being a challenge.

Gideon felt the corners of his mouth twitch with a smile, but he was carefully not to let it show. He'd learned a long time ago that it was better to let Carver do whatever he wanted when he was in a mood. And Carver was usually in a mood nowadays. Sometimes he couldn't help but think that the younger brother he remembered had never come back from Ostagar.

"Come on," Gideon said, waving at them to follow him inside. "Let's go eat."

*

No matter how many times Athenril claimed that the templars weren't any risk to Bethany as long as the Hawke siblings worked for her, almost twenty years of ingrained habit didn't just disappear overnight. Even with her assurances, the three of them tensed whenever a templar went by.

Or ducked into the nearest alley. Whichever seemed most prudent at the time.

"I need a drink."

Gideon glanced over at Carver, who was slumped against the alley's wall as if it was the only thing holding him up. Which, considering just how much fighting they'd been doing over the past few hours, it just might have been.

"So do I," Gideon said, a bit more sarcastically than he'd meant for it to come out, "but unless you're hiding a bag of coin on you somewhere, I'm pretty sure we're out of luck."

Carver scowled at him, but he didn't protest. There wasn't anything he could say, not really. The majority of the coin they earned on jobs went straight to Athenril, to pay her back for getting them into the city in the first place. They brought home enough to live on, a small percentage of the extra coin they sometimes found on the job itself after Athenril took her cut, but that was about it.

Treats like an ale or two were something that had fallen by the wayside once they'd arrived in Kirkwall. It was difficult to justify buying a drink when they could barely buy food more often than not.

That didn't mean they didn't miss it.

They stood there in an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds. Then Bethany let out an exaggerated sigh. "Honestly," she muttered, rolling her eyes when both of them glanced at her. Then she reached into the top of her dress, straight into her—

"Bethany!" Carver sputtered, his face reddening.

Gideon just closed his eyes. There were some things that a brother just _shouldn't see_.

Bethany let out a peal of laughter. "Where else would I keep this hidden?" she asked teasingly.

Against his better judgement, Gideon opened his eyes again. They almost immediately widened quite a bit.

She was holding up several coins. _Silver_ coins.

Carver whistled. "Where did you get those?" he asked.

Bethany's eyes twinkled. "What Athenril doesn't notice won't hurt her." She paused for a moment before adding: "Or us, for that matter."

Gideon couldn't help but laugh. "I thought that I was supposed to be the would-be rogue, not you," he said, shaking his head. "Is this the first time you've picked up a little extra?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Bethany said sweetly. "Perhaps. If the two of you stay on my good side."

Carver flung an arm over her shoulder, pulling her into a loose embrace. "Have I ever told you that you're my favorite sister?"

Bethany rolled her eyes. "I'm your only sister."

Carver's gaze drifted in Gideon's direction. "Well—"

"Don't," Gideon said, more amused than annoyed. He knew exactly what story Carver was about to bring up, and while it was amusing in hindsight, the incident with the druffalo and the dress was best left in the past where it belonged. "Just don't."

Carver's mouth twisted upward into an actual grin. Gideon felt his breath catch, just for a moment. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen that particular expression on his brother's face.

"Come on," Bethany said. "I won't tell Mother if you two won't."

*

Gideon woke up slowly, his head pounding as if he'd had a very fun night. Unfortunately, considering the last time that he'd had a night like that had been back in Lothering before the Blight had even been a rumor, the odds seemed fairly high that there was a less-than-fun reason for his splitting headache.

Years of practice kept Gideon from instinctively healing his aching head the moment he woke up, no matter how much he wanted to do it. Instead he opened his eyes slowly, trying his best to hold back the groan that threatened to escape as soon as even dim light his eyes.

He didn't succeed in staying quiet.

"Gideon?"

A blurry form appeared over him, and Gideon had to blink a few times before he could clearly see that it was Bethany. She looked worried, her lips pressed tightly together as she looked down at him. "How do you feel?"

"Like someone clocked me over the head," he said dryly. His voice cracked in the middle of the sentence, and he cleared his throat. "What happened?"

Someone that sounded suspiciously like Carver chuckled. "Someone clocked you over the head."

"Oh." Gideon grimaced. "Good guess on my part then, huh?"

He slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position, tightly closing his eyes as the world spun around him. He felt a hand grab his shoulder, keeping him from falling right back onto the floor. "Thanks, Beth."

There was a snort somewhere to his left.

Gideon frowned a bit and reluctantly tried opening his eyes again. The world was still spinning, but he could at least make out that the blurry form kneeling beside him wasn't the twin he'd been expecting. "Oh."

Carver rolled his eyes, his hand still resting firmly on Gideon's shoulder. "You're an idiot," he said matter-of-factly.

"You say that as if it's something new," Gideon said tiredly. He reached up to touch his throbbing head and hissed in pain as he immediately regretted that decision. "Did you at least take care of whoever or whatever hit me?"

There was a moment's hesitation. "Yes," Carver said. "They won't be a problem anymore."

Bethany let out a chuckle that didn't sound all that particularly amused. "That's an understatement," she muttered under her breath.

Gideon's vision wasn't exactly the clearest just then, but even he couldn't miss the dirty look that Carver shot in her direction.

"I feel like I'm missing something here," Gideon said slowly.

Bethany walked over to kneel beside him as well, her gaze drifting over him critically. Then she nodded. "The person who knocked you out was threatening to run their sword through your chest," she said. "Carver all but cut them in half."

Gideon's gaze instantly darted in Carver's direction. His aching head didn't appreciate just how quickly that movement happened. "What?"

"I may have overreacted," Carver said, sounding almost sheepish. For the first time in well over a year, Gideon could see the boy who'd left Lothering to join the king's army instead of the man who'd come back from that disaster.

"Careful, brother," Gideon said, trying his best to smile despite the fact that he honestly thought he was about to vomit if the world didn't stop spinning quite so much, "someone might think you actually care."

Carver made a show of huffing and glancing away from him, but Gideon could still see the flicker of relief on his face that he wasn't quite managing to hide.

"You've been out for almost an hour," Bethany said, cutting in. "We were starting to get worried."

It was noticeable that Carver wasn't arguing with that statement.

Gideon tried to glance around, but just that small hint of movement was enough to make him regret that decision. "Is it safe for me to you know what?"

Bethany gave him a tired shrug. "As safe as it ever is," she said. "I tried to heal it, but—"

"It made it worse," Carver cut in.

She reached out and punched him in the arm. Based on the sound he made, she wasn't being particularly gentle about it.

Gideon gave them both a weak smile before putting his hand up to his aching head and finally letting a cool wave of healing magic rush through it.

*

Mother grabbed Gideon by the arm as he went to follow Bethany and Carver out the door. "Do you have to go out tonight?" Mother asked quietly.

Gideon frowned at her. "We have a job."

"I know that," she snapped back at him. An abashed look immediately appeared on her face. "I know that. It's just—"

She trailed off, her gaze drifting over the tiny hovel that they'd called home since getting to Kirkwall. Gamlen had disappeared into the room he shared with Carver and Gideon, the door firmly shut behind him. The remains of dinner still sat on the table, waiting for Mother to clean them up and set the food aside as a snack for the middle of the night, when they'd hopefully be back from the job and most likely starving.

"I hate this," Mother whispered. "Every time you go out, every time you've _gone_ out for the past ten months, I never know if you're coming back."

Gideon sighed.

"I don't like it any more than you do, Mother," he said, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes. It was getting long again. He needed to get it cut. Or possibly to grow it out again, even though he suspected it would be ridiculously distracting long before it was long enough to pull back out of his face. "But thanks to our dear uncle, we don't really have much of a choice."

Mother frowned at him. "Do all three of you really need to go?" she pressed. "Couldn't Bethany stay here? Surely you and Carver would be enough to satisfy them."

Gideon gave her a tired shrug. "If Gamlen hadn't gone and told Athenril that she was a mage, maybe. But since she knows—"

He trailed off. There wasn't any reason to finish the sentence, not really.

Mother sighed. "I still can't believe he did it."

"I can," Gideon said with a snort. "I'm just glad he missed the fact that I'm one too, or I'm sure he would have blabbed _that_ to Athenril. Maker knows where we'd be if she knew that little fact."

Mother's eyes widened. "He's still here," she hissed, her eyes drifting to the closed door.

Gideon raised an eyebrow. "The door's shut," he said. "I have a good idea what he's doing in there, and if I'm right then I'm pretty sure his attention is focused on himself right now. Or, at least, a certain part of himself." He winked at her. "If you get what I mean."

Mother made a face and reached up to swatch him on the back of the head.

"Ouch!" Gideon said, shooting her a mock hurt look.

"You're more trouble than your brother and sister combined," Mother said fondly, shaking her head. There was still worry in her eyes, but at least there was a hint of amusement there as well. "Now go. Keep them safe."

Gideon's grin faded somewhat. "Always," he said seriously. "Two more months, that's it. As soon as our year's up, we're out. No matter what."

*

They should have known that their last job for Athenril would be a clusterfuck from beginning to end. Or, at the very least, _Gideon_ should have known. It was his job to keep his siblings safe, and he was doing a rather horrible job at it just then.

"Andraste's fucking tits," he muttered under his breath, ducking behind a stack of crates as an arrow landed where he'd been standing just a moment or two earlier.

With a quiet prayer to whoever might be listening, he took aim and threw one of his daggers at the nearby archer. That wasn't one of his strengths by a long shot, but someone must have been listening because the blade found its target with surprising ease. The archer fell to the ground, Gideon's dagger in her throat.

Gideon wasn't entirely certain who the group of masked attackers that had tried to get the jump on them were, but he was quickly getting to the point where he was ready to kill them all and be done with it. His side was smarting from a lucky blow one of them had landed before he'd gotten his daggers out. He was lucky that he'd been caught by the flat side of the blade instead of the sharp, pointy end, but there wasn't a doubt in his mind that a bruise was already forming.

Bethany had slipped away somewhere in the shadows, at least. She'd been watching from above, and there hadn't been any sign that their surprise guests knew she was there. Gideon thanked the Maker for small mercies.

Now if only the same could be said about Carver.

Carver was standing in the middle of the room, three bodies on the floor by his feet as he fought a fourth attacker who was still standing. It was hard to tell considering the mask, but Gideon thought it was a woman. She was faster and more agile than the ones that had already gone down, ducking out of the way of Carver's sword with surprising ease.

Gideon reached down to grab one of his spare daggers, something he'd started wearing the last time he'd been disarmed in a fight. He was getting ready to run up and stab the woman in the back, hoping there weren't any more archers out there that he hadn't taken care of already, when she stumbled. Before he could blink, she was halfway kneeling on the ground, Carver's sword sweeping through the air at her head…

...and she put her own sword through Carver's side, moments before he decapitated her.

Carver let out a strangled cry, one that sounded more like surprise than pain. Then his face went white, his sword dropping from suddenly lax fingers to clatter on the ground. His entire body followed a moment later as he crumpled.

Gideon felt his breath catch in his throat, and for just a second it felt as if he'd been transported back to that desolate stretch of land outside Lothering, helpless to do anything but watch as an ogre tried to kill his sister. Except this time, it wasn't Bethany dropping to the ground, broken and bloody. It was Carver. And this time it was Gideon's own fucking fault, not some random act of fate.

He hadn't kept him safe. Maker damn him, this was his fault.

"Carver!"

He wasn't entirely certain how he made it across the room. One moment he was standing there in the shadows, gaping as Carver fell, and the next thing he knew he was standing over him. If he hadn't known very well just what he was and wasn't capable of doing, Gideon might have thought that it was magic.

His daggers fell from his suddenly lax grip, clattering on the ground.

Gideon dropped down beside Carver, already digging into his mana so that he could start healing him. As he reached for the bleeding wound in Carver's side, though, Carver grabbed him by the wrist.

"What are you doing?" Gideon asked, not even trying to keep his voice down.

Carver grimaced, but he didn't stop holding Gideon's hand away from him. "Don't," he hissed through clenched teeth. "If anyone is watching, they'll notice. They may be idiots, but even they know that glowing hands equals magic."

Gideon shot him an exasperated look. "Would you rather I let you bleed to death?"

"It looks worse than it is," Carver shot back. Even if Gideon hadn't been a healer, he would have known that was an utter lie. His grip on Gideon's wrist loosened, just a little, as a tremor went through his hand. "They don't know that you're a mage. Don't give yourself away over _this_."

"You're an idiot," Gideon said simply, although there wasn't any actual heat in his voice.

Carver glared at him. "So are you," he shot back. "This is our last job for Athenril, Brother. If she finds out now—"

He trailed off, but Carver didn't actually need to finish his sentence. Gideon was well aware just how badly things would go if Athenril found out that he was a mage now, when they were so close to being done with her. It was bad enough that she knew about Bethany. If she found out that he had magic too, that he'd been hiding it from her all this time, he wasn't certain how she'd react.

Oh, he knew it would be _bad_ , of course. The question was how bad.

Still, it wasn't as if Gideon had much of a choice. If he had to decide between his little brother and _anything whatsoever_ , he was going to choose Carver every time. It wasn't even a decision, really. It was a fact.

"Carver, shut up," Gideon muttered through clenched teeth. He reached down to put his hands on the wound again.

Carver reached up to shove his hands away, his face twisting in pain even as he did.

"You're my little brother, you fucking idiot," Gideon hissed. "Do you really think I'm going to sit here and watch you bleed out when I can stop it?"

Carver shook his head. His face had gone as white as a sheet, as if all the blood had been drained from it, but he still managed to look pissed off. "Don't you dare."

"Are you both all right?"

Gideon jerked his head up just in time to see Bethany come running up, her eyes going wide as she saw the scene in front of her. "Maker!"

She was on the ground beside them in an instant. "What do you need me to do?"

Carver groaned. "I'm fine."

"Shut up," Bethany snapped. Then she looked expectantly at Gideon.

With a frustrated grunt, Gideon reached out and grabbed Bethany's hands, pulling them over the bleeding wound in Carver's side. She looked at him, confusion shining like a beacon on her face.

"I can barely heal a needle prick!" Bethany hissed at him.

"I know!" Gideon shot back, purposefully keeping his voice down this time. "They know that you're a mage, though. If anyone's watching, I'm hoping they'll think it's you doing magic, not me."

Bethany shot him a skeptical look.

"He won't let me heal him," Gideon said, his voice tight.

Bethany's eyes darted back towards Carter and grimaced. "You're an idiot," she said matter-of-factly, but there wasn't any heat in her tone.

The moment her hands were placed over Carver's side, Gideon's were as well. He kept his eyes open, trying his best to hide the fact that he was the one using magic and not his sister.

It took less time than he'd expected for Carver's breathing to even out. His face was still too pale, and there was a worrisome amount of blood on his clothes, but he was alive. That was the important thing.

Gideon pulled his hands away.

"That was a stupid thing to do," Carver muttered.

Bethany let out a laugh that sounded just a tiny bit too hysterical.

Gideon just took a moment to sit there and _breathe_. "You're welcome."

*

"What are we going to do now?" Bethany asked quietly.

Gideon glanced over at her. "Hmm?"

"We're done with Athenril," Carver said, throwing his arm over Bethany's shoulder. "That much is a given. But we're going to need to find a way to make money somehow."

Gideon shrugged. "We'll make do," he said. "I'm sure there are some odd jobs we can do around the city. Smuggling, mercenary work, maybe a little bit of petty theft."

Carver snorted. "Speak for yourself," he said. "I'm going to ask Aveline to put in a good word for me with the Guard."

Gideon very pointedly didn't bring up the fact that the last three times Carver had mentioned that idea to Aveline, she'd shot him down immediately. They'd been working for Athenril then. Now that they were on their own, maybe she'd change her mind.

Miracles had to happen occasionally, after all. That's what the stories said, at least.

"I could maybe do mending," Bethany said thoughtfully. "Like I did back in Lothering. Or cleaning. Anything other than—"

She trailed off a little awkwardly, a worried expression making its way onto her face, leaving Gideon and Carver to exchange a look over her head. Gideon raised his eyebrows, and Carver nodded back at him.

"Gideon could play music on street corners," Carver suggested. "Or sing. People would probably pay him to stop."

"Hey!" Gideon protested. "I resemble that remark."

Bethany's mouth twisted upward, just a little. "I know what you're doing," she said. "It's not going to work."

"Doing?" Gideon repeated in mock confusion. "Carver, are we doing something?"

Carver shook his head. "I'm not doing anything, Brother," he said. "She must be talking about you."

"But if you're not doing anything, and I'm not doing anything, then—"

Gideon trailed off as Bethany shook her head and started to laugh. Carver flashed him a grin over her head, and he couldn't help but grin back. For the first time in a long time, the future didn't seem quite so bleak.

"It's a valid question," Bethany said after she regained her composure, her gaze drifting between the two of them as she slipped out from Carver's grip. "What are we going to do? It's not as if we have any savings."

Carver shrugged. "We'll figure something out on way or another," he said. "And I was serious about talking to Aveline."

Bethany glanced over at Gideon and raised her eyebrows. "Do you have any ideas that are more specific?" she asked. "Other than taking on odd mercenary jobs and hoping for the best?"

Gideon bit his lip, shifting uncomfortably at the attention. "Well…"

Both Bethany and Carver immediately turned their focus towards him, almost identical suspicious looks on their faces. Not that he could blame them. He was fairly certain they'd had plenty of experience with him saying things in that tone of voice not necessarily ending well.

Gideon slipped between the two of them, Carver to his right and Bethany to his left, and threw his arms over both their shoulders. "Now that you mention it, I _did_ hear something about a dwarf named Bartrand Tethras," he said, shooting them both a grin. "Come on, I'll fill you in on the way."

**Author's Note:**

> Find me over on Tumblr. (http://settiai.tumblr.com/)


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